December Update

(the bloke hangboarding in the picture isn't me...)

PREFACE

SUPPOSING that 5.12 trad is a woman—what then? Is there not ground for suspecting that all climbers, in so far as they have been dogmatists, have failed to understand women—that the terrible seriousness and clumsy importunity with which they have usually paid their addresses to 5.12 trad, have been unskilled and unseemly methods for winning a woman? Certainly she has never allowed herself to be won; and at present every kind of dogma stands with sad and discouraged men—IF, indeed, it stands at all!...

• Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Based and Cringe

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Gnash, gnash, gnash your teeth! No substack post for a whole FOUR months? I bet, dear readers, you began to salivate when the promo email dropped in your inboxes (realistically I messaged you to ask you to read). However, such was the length of the first piece, that perhaps some among you are still mired in its depths. No matter. I’m back now.

This post will discuss several disparate themes; life updates, new horizons, new styles of climbing, boring training and I might even throw in some aspirations. I’ve tried to split these up under the appropriate subheadings to keep it closer to ‘aphorism’ (yeah yeah mate, I definitely know what that word means). rather than bore all of you to death. I can’t promise profundity, wisdom, or even entertainment. These posts are still very much an exercise in trying to write a tiny bit better each time, and in some ways a memory bank rather than a finished product. I am reminded of an Andy Kirkpatrick post whenever I sit down to put pen to paper (as it were). He advises:

‘NEVER talk about grades.

NEVER use the word ‘Suddenly’.

NEVER use exclamation marks.

AVOID similes at all costs (1 per chapter – not one per paragraph).

Keep your writing simple and as short as possible (500, 1000, 2000 words).

AVOID blow by blow accounts of moves etc.

DON’T try and impress people by how hard you are, or what a good climber you are.’

Hence:

‘I sneak my way onto the first rest before the 5.10 splitter crack began. Suddenly, it occurs to me that I had very little idea of how to get up a finger crack. Shit! I begin jamming my fingers in various constrictions with all the dexterity of a dog trying to pour a cup of tea. I’m sweating like a (REDACTED). I’m not scared though, mate. Not in the least. Because I’m tough, yeah.’

Ok - so, having broken all of the above rules save for the one about length I can get to writing without fears of an imaginary AK taking the mick. Onwards, readers, on our sentimental journey.

Yes, I have a crack problem

After I left the UK I was lucky enough to get out climbing a lot during the Indian summer that we had here in September. Briefly; UK climbing is weird. What I mean by this is that a lot of the routes I’ve done in the Peak are characterised by relatively easy climbing that is extremely poorly protected. In contrast, Quebec climbing is super well-protected but pretty sustained. Hence, at any given grade the climbing will feel quite stiff compared to its UK equivalent. I think this is quite nice for progress as I’ve probably taken more lead falls in one month here than I took in my whole UK trad career (which is limited as shit but still….)

Thank god also that Lakshand and I spent a day at Millstone practicing jamming. Quebec climbing is very crack-heavy to begin with and my climbing partner, Marc (who is crushing hard trad routes while having taken nearly 5 years off climbing and old enough to be my father) only really wanted to get on jamming cracks and tricky overhanging finger-cracks due to an injury. This led to some frustrating shutdowns rife with puffing and panting but also to some incredible climbing - a particular highlight has to be following a two pitch on the face of Mont King, Val David which is the birthplace of Eastern Canadian climbing, and located only 45 minutes from Montreal.

In the longer term, I think my goal of being a reasonably technical alpinist demands mastery of this kind of movement. My intermediate aim, therefore is to get over to Squamish this summer and just climb as much trad as possible. Laps upon laps. Otherwise there’s no way I can expect to be prepared to run up easy rock pitches, let alone demanding cruxes.

Injuries…shminjuries

Since moving to Montreal I have been climbing at an ‘old-skool’ rock gym (think tiny crimps, stickered boulders which you have to read, and owners who you actually know). As a foreigner with no mates it’s been a great place for the community alone but also for getting strong for outdoors (as yet unproven but this is my intuition).

Unfortunately the side effect was that I managed to partially tear one of my pulleys (A4) as I pulled onto a V1 with my middle finger, causing an audible crack. SAD! This was my first real injury, and also the first where I took more than a week off.

Since seeing a physio and following a slightly bro-sciency rehab regime (yes, I trust youtube more than doctors) I’ve actually managed to come back stronger, which taught me that injuries aren’t actually as bad as you might think. In a way it shocked me out of complacency so I’m kind of thankful for it. If you’re interested in the nuts and bolts of how I fixed it, see the section below. But the macro takeaway is that motion is indeed lotion - i.e., starting active rehab and stimulation of the finger (as is becoming more fashionable nowadays) as soon as possible does work (sample size of 1). I will qualify this by saying that my tear was fairly mild. I did also go to see a physio to confirm that it wasn’t totally fucked.

Anyway, I’m back to full training now and have even started to Kilter. I can’t say if this will lead to outdoor gains but (Trump voice) this is what they’re telling me, folks.

Boring Training Stuff

As promised; I’m not claiming I know much about training. Or climbing. This is more a space to write some observations about what has worked for me recently. That doesn’t mean it will work for you but it might give some things to consider.

Rehab: tension block is your friend

After I heard the ominous crack in my finger I began stimulating it almost immediately (massage, ice). Following this I began doing nearly twice daily non-hangs for about a week. This involved taking a 20mm edge (doorframe) and following the below (credit to this bloke).

After only a few days I started feeling far less pain; I’m not sure if this is entirely due to the routine but it correlates with Dave Macleod’s book/videos on the subject.

When this routine became easier I started training with a tension block (again roughly 20mm edge). I started fairly light and basically just added weight whenever possible. What I liked about this was 1) I could figure out roughly to what extent I was injured (I think I started on 50lbs for 8 reps with the injured hand which means I was at about 60% of my right hand’s strength 2) constant progress felt nice 3) I could max out my other hand meaning that it got stronger and stronger 4) re-injury danger felt far lower than hangboarding which has more that could go wrong.

Since then I’ve kept using the tension block at least once a week for my finger strength and am sending much harder stuff than before. So that’s nice.

Main routine:

Training days every other day (more if I feel I need it)

Day 1 - Limit boulder on kilter / gym set

Day 2 - Volume session; boulder every minute for 1hr. Progressively increase difficulty but should be boulders I can flash.

Day 3 - Strength

Weighted Pullups 5*5

Tension block

Abs

Stretching

Laps of the crack (Shakti, amazingly has a designated crack area with almost every width of crack. Perfect for my crack problem

Recently, however, I’ve tried to at least do a bit of easy volume on Day 3s because I feel my real deficiency is movement rather than strength and I don’t want to paper the cracks over too much by having heinously good finger/pull strength but zero technique.

Non-climbing days - yoga/run

Note on yoga: this has unlocked plenty of easy gains which I’d been leaving on the table. If you, like me, are naturally pretty stiff (I couldn’t touch my toes without bending my knees before starting yoga), this is a must.

Final note: I appreciate all these details are quite boring and that my level of climbing probably doesn’t demand truly systematic training but it makes me happy to take the autistic approach and it seems to be working thus far. This doesn’t mean that I think this is an optimal routine; Marc, for example, has never hangboarded and still climbs hard as hell. Movement is king, friends.

Come spring, however I will probably forgo a lot of this training in favour of just getting outdoors.

End Remarks

I’ll keep cranking the indoor training for the next few months, given that the Quebec winter almost totally precludes real rock. However, somewhat excitingly I am going to be dipping my toe into ice climbing pretty soon. I’ve got a lesson lined up and I also have work colleagues who are keen to take me cragging. This has got me super super hyped, and of course will be an essential component to progress in technical alpinism. I had no idea, but Quebec is supposedly a world class ice-climbing destination. I’ve got a half-baked plan to go to Festiglace (https://www.festiglace.org/) where some of the big dogs (think Will Gadd, Jeff Mercier, Stas Belkin) will be throwing down. Lots to look forward to.

Thanks for reading. If any part of this post struck you as less crap than the rest, please do leave a comment. Hopefully this will let me orient my writing one way or the other.